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The best before date registry

Welcome to our official registry. Here you will find everthing you need to know about how, why, where, and when you can obtain your Best Before Date.

Simply answer our comprehensive questionnaire as accurately and honestly as possible. Your results are then automatically tabulated against societal norms and calculated to determine when you are no longer useful to society.

Lets Get Started

IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHEN YOU'RE PAST YOUR PRIME. NO MORE GUESSING FOR EMPLOYERS, FAMILY, OR FRIENDS.

 

EMPLOYERS

will know when to terminate you.

 

RELATIVES

will know when to put you in a home.

 

YOU

will know when to stop being active.

 

It provides excellent guidance for society on how to treat you.

GETTING YOUR TATTOO

If you have never had a tattoo, don't be scared. While there is some pain and discomfort it is quite manageable. Our sanctioned parlours have highly trained and experienced artists. We strongly recommend your forehead for optimal placement. It is the most obvious and visible place making it quick and easy for society to see and pass judgement.

DISPUTING YOUR DATE

Unfortunately, you can't. Once your date has been issued it is not retractable. Rest assured your date has been arrived at fairly, using data and facts compiled from countless attitudinal and behavioural surveys. And to be frank, your birthdate is your birthdate, and there is no changing that.

Tattoo Needle